My rating: 1.5 of 5 stars
10 Things I Hate* About Indelible
*More of ‘don’t like’ but 10 things I don’t like about Indelible just doesn’t have the same ring to it. This isn’t really a review, more of things that made it impossible for me to like this book.
10. A time to tell, and a time to whine.
There should be some sort of rule that you simply cannot shower readers with your mommy troubles on the second page. Literally, on the second line of the second page. Because guess what? I won’t fucking give two shits if you start your whining on me before I even know you. This is like, some random stranger coming to you in a bar, and going hi, hello, I like to dance and my mommy killed my dada- aaaand wait, stranger who likes to sasha is talking to empty air.
9. You say Inq and I say bloody hell!
So, there are two characters in this book: Inq and Ink. Tell me the bloody difference between their pronunciations because I don’t see it. The best I’ve been able to figure out is Inq sorta goes with a ‘kw’ sound at the end. Maybe I’m just no good with my phonetics but I hate these types of distinctions.
8. Flash! Flash!
And there it goes again, the Flash! Flash– the annoying interruptions. It has something to do with the plot that I can’t explain. Suffice it to say that it reminded me of Flash and I kept wanting to
7. Dense Writing
I did not like the writing at all, and not because of its simplicity. In the beginning, it almost made me Flash the other way, it was so difficult to wade through. Though it gets easier on your eyes as you move on, it’s still remarkably unremarkable. Except when it’s giving you a few chortles with stuff like
…his lips touched her forehead: soft and precious and fragile as snow.
All in all, the prose was awkward, awkward and stuck.
6.My trees stuck the turtle in twirled the Great Wall of China.
Does that make sense? Not to me, just like Indelible. The book is filled with inexplicable dialogue, as if the writing weren’t enough. Half the time, it goes on a weird tangents and unsaid words that I’m perhaps too thick to understand but gimme a break- that did not make sense at all. Like the prose, it also gets simpler moving on but then again, it isn’t much better because all they want to talk about is how grooved ears make you human and HIS FIRST KISS!! OMG!! WE MUST CELEBRATE!! and the lehman business, wherein I was out of my depth, bringing us to my next point:
5.Blow on the hut, piggy dear.
The world-building is half-assed. The construction is fragile and bafflinf, at least on my first read and I’m sure as hell not going back for another. There’s some stuff explained in the beginning but I don’t get it. Magic needs to be saved, so magical creatures(who aren’t explained either) give cool humans their marks and watch over them. This somehow balances the world. I don’t see how. Humans could very well survive without these marks, it seems, and only the woodland creatures would be wiped out without magic, far as I can figure it out. And what’s the bloody Council, dude, I’m halfway through the book? What’s the bloody council, dude, I’m halfway through the remaining half of the book? What’s the bloody council, dude, I’m almost to the fin- oh, that’s itt!!!!!!!! Could you give me some more tidbits, please?
And I don’t get the lehman business at all. Why it’s such a big deal and why people even want to be fucking sex slaves.
4.Round and round we run
The bloody plot.
It wouldn’t even know its own shit from itself.
3.Santa, Santa, Ho ho ho!
I don’t know why but I just felt like adding that.
But number three is bout the characterization, if you’re interested still. The characters never clicked with me and I like them not one bit.
~Joy: You are not a joy to my eyes. Even though the book is a third-person narration and that usually tones down the irritation if you have an annoying MC, Joy still fucking got on my nerves. I could excuse her bad decisions but as the book moves on, she’s all I kissed him! I love him! and I’m all, Sweetheart, maybe you should bloody focus on learning how to survive but after being harassed again and again, she doesn’t even fucking ask how to fend off the monsters.
~Ink: He’s patronizing and nothing else. Oh yes, your father’s protective of you, I approve. Oh yes, you thought of your friend before yourself, I approve. Oh yes, you didn’t run away, I approve.
This is just condescension and I don’t approve. Even Jace from TMI has some semblance of a personality and I can garner the feeling of hatred towards him. This guy in nothing.
~Monica: Joy’s BFF. She’s horrible. ‘Nuff said.
2.Love and other instantly prepared items
I don’t expect too great a romance from YA fantasy/sci-fi books these days. My standards have been lowered, sad as it is. But this insta-love was too tragic, even for me. So boy knifes her eye, a week later they kiss, the girl realizes she loves the boy and as it turns out, boy liked her before he knifed her. Here after six years of marriage, people don’t truly love each other and these two are pledging their lives to each other after just one bloody kiss.
I call bullshit, book.
I hate the title. I keep reading it as inedible. And that gives me a constant reminder that no, I can’t eat this book. Not that I was ever planning to, it’s an e-copy for fuck’s sakes! But not eating it was just a notion in the back of my head; I didn’t even think about it until I was, in no uncertain terms, told that it is inedible and I cannot eat it. It just takes the magic out of everything, you know.
On a happy note, I do like the cover and Inq to some extent, so half a star is for that.
A review copy was provided by the publishers.