Between

BetweenAuthor: Megan Whitmer
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Shelves: Hot like meh, Fantasy/pnr/everything untoward

When a supernatural freak of nature forces her family to separate, seventeen-year-old Charlie Page must turn to her frustrating (yet gorgeous) neighbor, Seth, to help reunite them. Seth whisks Charlie to Ellauria—a magical world filled with the creatures of myths and legends—and tells her of the Fellowship, the group charged with protecting mystical beings from human discovery. (All except Bigfoot: that attention whore is a total lost cause.) But when Charlie learns that she’s under the Fellowship’s protection herself, well, “stressed” is an understatement.
 Ellauria should be the safest place for Charlie while the Fellowship works to find her family, but things in the mystical realm aren’t what they seem.
 Magic is failing, creatures are dying, and the Fellowship insists Charlie holds the key to saving everyone. With her family still missing and the danger in Ellauria growing, Charlie doesn’t know who she can trust. She’s dealing with a power she never asked for, falling for a guy she can’t have, and being forced to choose between her destiny and her heart. And if she chooses wrong, she could destroy magic forever.
 Charlie may be in over her head.

 

In short, you don’t need this book in your life the way you need say, a dream with Robert Sheehan, not missing out on the gloriousness of his accent.

You also don’t need it like I need a Scottish or Irish accent.

And you certainly don’t want it in your life like you want the test results of the Trig test you messed up because you can’t read. And that, far as I’d be concerned were I you, says it all.

But that’s just my measly, lacking experience talking shit.

Basically, if you want the following with a dressing of words and words piled on top and characters feeling and knowing and being stuff, give it a go.

Girl: I’m not special. Not anymore!!! *goes to draw*
Others: No, no, you are!

(boring shit happens)

Girl: This is so Photoshopped(meaning bright and beautiful, I suppose).
Others: *Insert history, facts in the manner of interactive, educational CD’s I would touch only with a jackhammer*
Girl: Look at that Photoshopped creature!
Others: Careful! You are special!
Girl: But-but! So much Photoshopping.
Others: *Insert history, facts in the manner of interactive, educational CD’s I would touch only with a jackhammer*
Girl: My family! My family! More Photoshopping ahoy!

(boring shit happens)

Repeat stuff repeat stuff repeat stuff.

The writing bothered me a lot, and as a consequence, I skimmed. A lot. My eyes soaring over the plains; their attention sought by all but given only to a choice word or dialogues. My eyes be dragons, mister and mistresses.

If you’re real nice and snarky, they might just give you a ride. Okay, analogy end. I don’t even know what it means.

My issues with the writing style were two-fold, if we’re condensing it down:

1) The descriptions were unfeeling, depthless and un-evocative. See the cover of the book? All the bright and vivid colors, in no way reminiscent of magic, but definitely linked with poor Photoshopping(too late to mention I don’t like the cover?) skills- that yet surpass mine- is what the writing felt like to me. The creatures, plants, energy- everything our protagonist witnesses flew right over my head because I just couldn’t bear to read it.

2) Specific phrases in each chapter that buggered me like a goddamn wedgie in the middle of an interview.

Seth thinks I’m beautiful…Seth finds me attractive shouldn’t even register on the scale, but it does.

NO. Beautiful means aesthetically pleasing, as opposed to attractive. Not to mention this sentence structure,”He thinks blah blah and I shouldn’t care but I doooo” is so trite, even cat-woman porn is shaking its head.

Nothing has changed, and everything has changed.

WRONG. LITERALLY EVERYTHING HAS IN YOUR WORLD HAS CHANGED. AS IN, I’M USING “LITERALLY” THE RIGHT WAY. Nothing has remained unchanged so stop spouting incorrectly philosophical lines to seem deeeppppp and shit.

To the story? The characters? The whimsical creatures it promises? Better off watching a Tim Burton movie, I say, even the crappy ones. They’re mostly characterized by stereotypes:

The tree-historian wizard: grandfatherly, all-knowing, friendly disposition.

The punk fairy: the best. comes along to shower everyone with moments of refreshment. how much you wanna bet she dies on way or another at some point in the story that i didn’t read?

The fairy who looks like a fairy: bitch. annoying. leader. hates the protagonist’s guts.

dragon dude: screams, dangerous, leader.

romantic interest: rule follower, rule maker, her protector.

The protagonist was actually snarky at times, where the romantic interest was concerned. She rebuffed his actions and moods with fantastically appropriate jokes and sarcastic remarks but unfortunately, that remains the only high points in the book. Also, her demeanor seems tokenistic, only coming out in the presence of the guy, as if to prove herself a distinguished character in a sea of boring, whiny, useless heroines no matter that she remains so herself the rest of the time.

I happen to be the harbinger of bad books news’ with the hope that someone will thank me for it. Or maybe not, everyone who’s read Between seems to love it far more than I ever could, even in a parallel dimension where I never grew out of stupid boy bands phase in fifth grade.

Review copy provided by the publishers.

doodle-230-mushu-attitude

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5 thoughts on “Between

  1. EEEEK. If a book is stuffed with nonsense like that, I am staying away from it! It sounds boring as hell and insecure female leads and I don’t really share a great relationship if you know what I mean. AND SO MUCH PHOTOSHOPPING AND PHOTOSHOPPED PEOPLE. Bah humbug.

    I stay away from this. Okay? Thanks for warning.

    Bah bah

    (oh and fantastic review as ALWAYS, Stuti!)

  2. My dream retirement is living on a 45ft center cockpit Hunter sailboat with my man and dog sailing the inter coastal waterways, the Caribbean, and any port I choose.

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