Fart Squad

22873045Author:Seamus Pilger
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
shelves: humor, fantasy-pr-everything-untoward

It was an average day at Harry Buttz 
Elementary until . . . KABLAM! The 
five-bean burritos churning in Darren 
Stonkadopolis's stomach exploded in a 
fart so volcanic it melted his desk 
seat, knocked out his whole class, 
and got him sent to the nurse--and 
he's not alone.

Something fishy is going on in 
Buttzville. And it's up to Darren 
and his three farting friends to 
combine their potty powers to get to 
the bottom of this evil plot--before 
it's too late. With their scent-sei, 
Janitor Stan, at their side, the 
Fart Squad has to learn to harness 
the powers between their butt cheeks. 
And then let it RIIIP.

If I am ever stranded/quarantined on a lonely island, the (dull) powers that be declaring me unsuitably, uncontrollably, infinitely awesome and so as to protect the entirety of humanity from my contagion, provided that I’ll be given a lone companion based on one personality trait of mine that might be desirable, I’d rather it be this: I dig the stupid.

I dig the stupid like there be Inca-cursed gold deep in the group, fifty feet vertically from where in a chest, personification of stupid has been buried, and I am the whirlwind runing you and all the gold-diggers over with a tractor (because I also dig tractors) just to be first in the queue of stupid-diggers that doesn’t exist.

And Fart Squad has a stupid premise. You see the blatant match that’s been manufactured in book-heaven? Me stupid + book stupid = raging funny boner, with all the stupidity that phrase implies.

Fart Squad is a book that rests for on its entire premise for humor and stupidity. Four kids become fart-heroes when they eat radioactive burritos.

#1 releases f(art)ire.
#2 farts silently but deadly.
#3 can launch fart-time-bombs.
#4 can f(art)ly.

But what are fartheroes to do with no enemy in sight? Well, these four have plenty to manage, what with burned pants and smelly classrooms and knocked-off nurse. THEY NEED FART-CONTROL.

Ushering in the omniscient fart-sensei, they set to practice. It’s time for decisions. Do our heroes WANT to commit to a life of fart-dom? Is it even a choice now? because look! the entire populace of butts is in danger. ENEMY AHOY!

They will fight tooth and butt with these dangerous rivals who wish to unleash an itchy curse on the innocent bums of their town.

So yes, premise stupid and fun. However, a tool only gets you so far in farting and in laughing. The book def needed more jokes. Actual jokes. On the other hand, the dilemma and issues our foursome overcome were, well, marvelously faced indeed.

They rise to the challenge bravely, if hesitantly–because who would WANT to be a fart-hero, besides my brother.

They teach lessons to bullies and solidify friendships in bursts of farts that are-and this is one of the best parts-in graphics that complemented the story. The heroes always seemed to be rushing off the page, which was expected because well, they are FARTheroes, not noseless heroes.

So yeah, okay book. Not meant for delicate folks but us hardy, farting-in-secrecy* people should give it a go.

Also, I totally have a burp-and-fart app on my phone. What my sister understand is the need of it when I–these days–have my brother on hand. But I’m sure you do. It’s an imperative requirement for proper functioning of every human with a smartphone to have a burp-and-fart app.

*Oh please, my family considers me a prude and I have done it once in recent memory. You have too.

Thank you HarperCollins!


2 thoughts on “Fart Squad

  1. Trolololol. No, but seriously, TROLOLOLOL. Haha, I did not think this kind of book existed…it does seem like you had a relatively good time reading it. ;D I might not, looks too absurd haha and ridiculous for me. Are there sequels? Maybe there will be more jokes in them? Nice review, trololy. Cute nickname, right? ugh no ha)

Hush there. People will hear. Why don't you type it out instead?

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